5 Myths About Attachment Parenting Style - Balancing the Pros and Cons
When you hear "Attachment Parenting," what comes to mind? Many people think of spoiled kids, no discipline, and parents doing whatever their children want. After some research, I realized I was loosely following attachment parenting without even knowing it had a name!
As a new mom, I instinctively responded to my baby's needs with love and sensitivity. I embraced babywearing and prioritized close contact. It turns out that many of the practices I naturally adopted align with attachment parenting principles, helping me build a strong, secure bond with my child.
However many families still have misconceptions about this parenting style. Here are five common myths about Attachment Parenting — and why you should consider it!
Myth 1: Attachment Parenting Is Just Spoiling the Child
Some people think that if you respond quickly to your child's needs or keep them close, you are spoiling them. For example, they might say that picking up a crying baby too often will make the baby clingy, or they believe that co-sleeping will make it hard for the child to sleep alone later.
In reality, attachment parenting is about making your child feel safe and loved. When you respond to your baby's cries, you show them that you are there for them. This builds trust and makes them feel secure.
When my own baby cried, I would pick her up and comfort her. Over time, she became more confident and secure, knowing that I was always there for her.
Myth 2: Attachment Parenting Means Never Letting Your Baby Cry
Attachment parenting emphasizes responding to a baby's needs, but it doesn't mean that babies will never cry. Crying is how babies communicate, and it's important for parents to learn how to respond sensitively.
For example, when a baby cries, a parent might check if they are hungry, need a diaper change, or just want a cuddle. Sometimes, babies cry because they need to let out some energy. By paying attention to the different types of cries, parents can understand what their baby needs.
Want to learn more about how to decipher your newborn’s cries? Click here
Talking to the baby in a calm voice when they cry, saying things like, "I hear you, and I'm here for you," while gently rocking them can help the baby feel understood and cared for.
Myth 3: Attachment Parenting Requires Co-Sleeping
Attachment parenting doesn't mean you have to co-sleep with your baby. Co-sleeping is just one way to practice attachment parenting, but there are many other options to keep your baby close and connected.
For example, some parents prefer room-sharing, where the baby sleeps in a crib or bassinet in the same room. This allows them to respond quickly to their baby's needs without sharing the same bed. Other parents use a bedside sleeper that attaches to their bed, making it easy to reach their baby during the night.
My own experience with room-sharing showed me that both my daughter and I slept better during her first month of life. She transitioned to sleeping in a crib in her own room in her second month, and I used a baby monitor to stay connected.
A study on room-sharing and its benefits in reducing the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and supporting a strong parent-child bond can be found on the Sleep Foundation website. The study highlights that room-sharing can decrease the risk of SIDS by up to 50% while allowing parents to easily check on and comfort their baby without bed-sharing.
Myth 4: Attachment Parenting Means Always Being Physically Attached
I mean, it is in the name, right? While being close is important, it's more about being emotionally available and responsive.
To balance physical closeness and emotional availability, I created a nightly ritual with my daughter. Even though she slept in her own room, we would read a bedtime story and have a goodnight chat every night. This routine helped her feel secure and loved, fostering a strong emotional bond between us.
Myth 5: Attachment Parenting Is Anti-Discipline
Nobody wants to raise children who misbehave. There is a belief that attachment parenting avoids discipline, but it actually promotes positive discipline, focusing on guiding and teaching rather than punishing.
For example, instead of giving time-outs, a parent might use time-ins, where they sit with the child and talk about their feelings and behavior. This helps the child understand what they did wrong and how to do better next time.
Setting clear and consistent boundaries is another key aspect of attachment parenting. By explaining why certain behaviors are unacceptable and what the consequences are, using calm and understanding language, children learn respect and empathy.
Parenting is the toughest job in the world, but also the most rewarding. It's not about following a strict set of rules but finding what works best for you and your child. Attachment parenting is about building a loving, respectful, and empathetic relationship with your children — not letting them run wild without discipline.
Think about what life will look like in 20 years when you get to see the fruits of all this labor. It will all be worth it!
Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. Asking for help is okay! Reach out to local resources, support groups, or other parents when you need advice or support.